dulcissime

Ballet. That one word conjures up a multitude of images: tutus & pointe shoes & pink & Angelina Ballerina & all things girly. What many people don’t think of when they hear the word ballet is guys, not masculine ones anyway. For reasons I honestly can’t comprehend, often the default is that guys who are ballet dancers are, at the very least, effeminate, and usually it is also assumed that they must be gay. I know enough dancers and enough about ballet in particular to realize that this assumption is not true, and it really isn’t my job to convince anyone otherwise. But now I have a son who is beginning formal instruction in ballet, and I feel the urge for a pre-emptive strike of sorts. For my son’s sake, I’m going to...

heartbeats

I haven’t written (publicly) for a year. Once out of the gate, it proved too painful, so I retreated to journaling privately. But, on this second Father’s Day without my dad, it feels right to put words out there again. Fair warning: word and picture-heavy post ahead. One of the songs that’s been in the rotation for me lately is “Verge” by Owl City. It’s a graduation anthem, and the video includes plenty of caps and gowns and young, fresh faces. “Verge” points to a different sort of graduation for me, however. Over the course of my life, and the last decade in particular, many family members and friends have left this world–a number of them far too early.  I grieved each loss, and I always knew grief was a process.  I...

a father to the fatherless

Thinking of you this Father’s Day–your dad was a father in the faith to so many and I can’t wait to sit down with him again and celebrate fullness of life in Christ together. Praying you are held in His peace today.   Thank you. Emotions have been running high for days. I cleaned out one last stash of trach supplies on Friday, and it was more difficult than you can imagine.   But Psalm 68 reminds me that God is a father to the fatherless, and because of that I can proclaim two other verses in that Psalm:   19 Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. 20 Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death.   I remain grateful for my dad’s escape from death, and I look...

highs & lows

“Parenting kinda sucks. And it’s also the best thing ever. Often at exactly the same time.  / One minute I am stressed and miserable. The next, I sigh, my body softens, and I could not be happier. Literally. The highs are so high, they completely dissolve the lows.” — Brian Leaf In the last 48 hours, I have been yelled at and given the dagger eyes by The Girl with a ferocity that would surprise most who know her. Because I (shudder!) asked her to stop tormenting her brother and (gasp!) take a shower. Also I have never in my entire life had anyone make fun of me and I do not understand anything at all about the tragedy that would occur, which is why I dared to suggest that she consider wearing purple tape on her bad knee since we were almost out of blue. In...